Evidence has emerged that the student protests may have been hijacked by increasingly posh people, after Prince Charles and Camilla were attacked for being too common.
Charlie Gilmour, who is set to inherit a title from his wealthy father, Sir Pinkety Floyd, allegedly told Charles, 'Call that a Bentley? My dad's considerably rich than you - you flipping prole.'
Rioting against the establishment is now one of the highlights of The Season, with the sons and daughters of Britain's richest, most successful tax dodgers coming out to yell abuse at 'the perlice', smash up shops and urinate on statues. Many take the chance to dress down, donning donkey jackets and shouting about welfare cuts. This year the big theme is student tuition fees. 'Tuition fees have been around for a while, ever since a Labour government introduced them. But this year they've suddenly become the fashionable topic of conversation,' said one protestor. 'I really can't put a finger on what's changed.'
The quality of rioters has never been better, according to Tatler, which this month has produced a Smash the System supplement, with tips on how to mix a molotiv cocktail, which shops to smash and a fashion spread on What to Wear to the Riots.
Samantha Hamilton-Forbes has been appointed to write a gossip page, reporting on all the latest sightings in SW1. 'Tatler readers love to see who's smashing up who's shops," says Hamilton-Forbes, 'and they'll want to know what they're wearing.'