Think I'll shove another in here to save space and write it as I go along.
Queen Surprised that None of the Recipients are Footballers at Bravery & Hero Medals Ceremony.
The Queen was busy today awarding bravery medals to heroes but expressed surprised that none of the recipients were footballers. She made a point of asking each person what they did but not one said they played professional football. The Queen, who follows the Premiership very closely on Sky and MOTD, was expecting there to be quite a few.
Private Timothy Jenkins said, "Her Majesty asked about the lack of kit and thinks it's disgraceful. She said she noticed several players not kitted out with snoods and gloves and would have a word with the President of the FA, Prince William. I wasn't sure what she was on about at first."
Lance Corporal Geoff 'dogger' Daley arrived at the ceremony in a wheelchair after losing both legs.
"The Queen seemed concerned about my injury and asked if it was my hamstring and whether I'd be fit for the congested Christmas fixture list."
A Palace spokesman said that it was due to an honest mistake. The Queen thought that with it being bravery and heroes medals that most of the recipients would obviously be footballers.
"If she had known then she would never have asked for their autographs."