Transport Minister Philip Hammond’s plea to the public to help clear Britain's roads is to be extended to all other aspects of government work, it has been announced.
Launching the initiative, Prime Minister David Cameron said “Never mind health and safety, risk assessments and all that malarkey, it’s about time people just got out there and ran the country. Daily Mail readers always think they can do it better than us anyway, so why not give them a go?”
From tomorrow, members of the public will, whatever their background or qualifications, be allowed to do any government job.
“If you’ve got a white coat or a nurses uniform, just turn up at your nearest hospital and muck in” said Cameron. “If you’ve got a book about wars and stuff, take it down to your local school and read it to a few kids. Don’t worry about the CRB checks by the way, Bob Taylor in Northampton is sorting that out”.
“If you’re casually racist, great! Just get along to your nearest port or airport and stop anyone coming in to the country that looks to have a touch of the tar brush about them.”
“And if you’ve got a stick or weapon of some kind, why not be a policeman? Just beat up anyone in a hoodie and send them home to their parents.”
“It’s a brilliant initiative. It will save us a fortune” said Cameron. “It’s already proving very popular. But what I can’t explain is the disproportionate amount of people who seem to want to be gynaecologists.”