Santa Claus or this case middle aged ex civil servant John Clark had to run for his life today after having 50 over excited minors stampede into his Grotto based at the Basildon branch of Home and Bargain .
' Those kids were like crazed animals' commented Clark ' I got a sense there was going to be trouble when they started to jostle the staff dressed as elves right outside the grotto door which prompted me to open the emergency exit just in case'
The parents standing with their little ones outside were said to have simply caved in to the rabid demands have their offspring as they let them rush the grotto in a scene that could of been reminiscent of the storming of the bastille.
' I like many of the other parents there will admit to just letting them run riot' said harrassed parent Sandra Stubbs ' but christmas is still over two weeks away and my little Charlie has been driven insane with excitement thanks to endless tv adverts plugging it. His local school haven't helped by doing the nativity way too early again and the excitement has got him so hyped up I thought I was going to have to admit him to hospital to be put him on a high strength sedative to calm him down' finished the tired looking Mum.
Charlie multiplied by 50 other kids similarily sent over the edge by christmas hysteria rushed the grotto knocking over both elves guarding the flimsy grotto door rendering them both unconscious in the process to get at Mr Clark and his bag of over priced cheap chinese merchandise presents. The fake cuddly Rudolph the red nose reindeer was no defence for Clark as he hurled it at the charging entourage of crazed toddlers but it did give him enough time to dart through the emergency exit to escape the kids hot on the heels of his black santa boots.
Fortunatley for Mr Clark he managed to scramble to his car just in time as the following mass of children burst through the back entrance of the shop. This had the the two fold effect of giving Clark a hasty getaway and the other of immediatley subduing the kids as they all stopped stunned into dissappointment by the site of having the popular image of Father Christmas and his reinder blown apart by witnessing him racing off at speed in a 1998 plated Nissan Micra.
'You should have seen their little faces' said shop manager Chris Johnson ' Yes they caused a lot of damage to my shop and have put two of my staff in hospital but I felt so sorry for them I almost to forgot to issue them all with a free advent calendar for Christmas 2011 on their way out'.
The final word on this was left to Mr Clark ' i've been santa impersonating for five years and this is the first time I have felt in real danger. I've decided to give it up and go on a two week break scuba diving off the coast of Sharm El Sheikh where i'd rather take my chances with the sharks thankyou'.