Untold national misery could follow David Cameron's admission that he is a fan of 1980s indie band The Smiths, it emerged last night. Cameron's revelation could now lead directly to a reunion of the band, as its former members were reunited in fury. The Prime Minister is said to be 'horrified' at these developments.
Smiths song-writing partners Morrissey and Johnny Marr, who had previously ruled out any reunion, are reported have been reconciled in their disgust over the Prime Minister’s unwanted attention. The indie music world is now awash with rumours that a full reformation of the 80s combo could follow.
Johnny Marr said this weekend that he “Absolutely forbade” Mr Cameron from being a fan of the band. “If it takes a Smiths reunion tour to force the country into terminal national gloom and bring this government down then so be it”.
“I would never forgive myself if The Smiths reformed and inflicted their misery on us all”, said Cameron. “I apologise to the country in advance if that happens. We do not need to slip further into national melancholy in these already desolate times.”
However Mick Perkins, Secretary of the British Gladioli Growers Association, said that the possibility of a Smiths reunion would actually be a boost to the economy. “Not only would a whole new generation of angst-ridden teenage boys be stuffing gladdies in their back pockets, but the whole country would be buying flowers to cheer each other up – it’s a win-win for us!”