Microsoft's guerilla war with the layman is to be stepped up, with more inventitve ways to root out non techies and render them powerless. It is thought to be working on a series of 'new innovations' (code words for terrorism) which will force the user to lose their tools, stop work or even lose everything forever.
Microsoft's unofficial war against the non-technical (known to techies as the RTFMs) began with the invention of Windows. one of its very first tricks was to put the 'Control' and 'A' keys close together, so fat fingered typists could unwittingly highlight all their work, then delete it, in two keystrokes. It remains popular to this day. However, in the ongoing war against the 'user' extremists in an organisation known as Continuity DOS have created a series of disruptive technologies. The most famous outrage, when they hid everybody's tools in a new version of Office, sent shockwaves around the world. But many more explosive keyboard-side bombs go unreported. The secret combination of keys that sets up a tab you didn't want in your Word document, for example, has managed to destroy hundreds of thousands of otherwose productive work-hours, but is rarely talked about in public.
'The struggle will continue, until we've driven out all the non technical people from our world,' said a spokesman for QDOS, the political wing of Microsoft.