Forum

The NewsBiscuit Community

Sign up or log in - lost password?

Username
Password

Remember me

Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

1. 

   shitsu_tonka
   

   offline

   Member

   Not seen here do anything myself, but was wondering if her sulk at not being put up for the British Comedy Awards is justified.

   In with a shout or talking pants?

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. 

   Golgo13
   

   offline

   Member

   She wouldn't make my top 3 comedians with the surname "Brand".

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. 

   Phlegm
   

   offline

   Member

   I would...I mean, I do.

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. 

   saltire
   

   offline

   Member

   Never heard of her.Please tell me she's better than Lucy Porter.

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. 

   andhrimnir
   

   offline

   Member

   If she were, wouldn't I have heard of her?

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. 

   IABP
   

   offline

   Member

   nee Perry

   She's put on weight by the looks of it.

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. 

   Oxbridge
   

   offline

   Member

   Not very funny IMHO, but the rant is about ITV not even being arsed to enter her (steady the buffs, rest of sentence still to come) in the competition.

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. 

   The Return of DroleNoel
   

   offline

   Member

   No

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

   offline

   Member

   ...as crabs.

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. 

    FormerlyAlOPecia
    

    offline

    Member

    C'mon Jen, crabs walk around in an amusing way.

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

    offline

    Member

    Like drunks on an icy pavement.
    Ok, crabs are funnier than Katy Brand.

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. 

    Oxbridge
    

    offline

    Member

    I know a very funny joke about a crab prince and a lobster princess if anyone's interested.

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. 

    Oxbridge
    

    offline

    Member

    A humble crab fell into love with Princess Lobster and she with him. They enjoyed an idyllic relationship but one day Princess Lobster came to Crab in floods of tears saying that King Lobster would not let her see Crab anymore.

    "But why?" gasped the humble crab.

    "Daddy says that crabs are too common," sobbed the princess. "You're a lower class of crustacean and you walk sideways."

    Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink his sorrows away. That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball. Lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Only Princess Lobster sat by her father's side, inconsolable.

    Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne - walking straight, one claw after another. Everyone was silent. Step by painful step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye and said: "Fuck am I pissed."

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. 

    wallster
    

    offline

    Member

    This is what she was really after.

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. 

    FormerlyAlOPecia
    

    offline

    Member

    Thanks Ox, been telling this one all day.

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. 

    rikkor
    

    offline

    Member

    I think Katy Perry's main attractions are her not-too-big tits, which she is willing to show to anyone and everyone. A poor man's Kim Kardashian. Her husband is a complete zero, and wears "skinny jeans", so should be shot on sight.

    Posted 2 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.