Academic left of centre liberals throughout the country were today celebrating the launch of a new catering agency which will allow them to invite gay and lesbian couples to their dinner parties without ever having to go through the nauseous task of actually getting to know them first.
The north London agency set up by ‘friends’ Julian and Sandy will offer hosts the opportunity to invite a couple of homosexuals to their dinner parties, and while giving the impression they are both indeed liberal and academic, it will free them up to get on with the important business of talking to their real friends.
The agency insists they only select gays who have been taught how to behave in polite society and fears that they might be found having unprotected sex in the bathroom are quite unnecessary. The agency was quick to point out that having a couple of queers hanging around for the ladies to talk to can often take the sting out of any accusations made by drunken jealous husbands
Gays can be either randomly selected from the Rent-a-Fag pick ‘n’ mix lucky drag bag or customers are invited to browse the glossy bitchalogue and select from a wide range of poofs and dykes.
The agency stocks all the stereotype gays from fag window dressers to theatrical drama queens to butch garage mechanics or for those who wish to surprise their guests with something completely unreal, they even stock one gay guy who in real life is a site maintenance engineer. ‘Maybe it shouldn’t be allowed but it’s amazing what some of them can do these days’ said Sandy.
Fears that having a gay couple present when guests threw their keys on the table at the end of the night could lead to complications were dismissed when the agency pointed out most gays need to get home early to let the cat out.
Next time you are thinking of throwing a party and want to appear gay-friendly why not give Rent-a Fag a call. Their number can be found in most dingily lit phone booths.