In other news:
Ed Milliband Effect Failing to Have Any Impact Anywhere or With Anyone
Concerns are growing that the Ed Milliband Effect is failing to have an impact on anything or anyone and shows no signs of doing so. Red Ed, who has been leader long enough for no one to recall how many days has taken to winning the Labour Leadership contest as Steve Brookstein did to winning the X-Factor.
Supporters of Ed, which is made up of everyone outside of the actual Labour Party, have come to his defence in the absence of him saying anything meaningful and relevant.
"Ed's more anti-Clegg than anti-Cameron and because Nick Clegg is the equivalent of an invisible friend you invent as a child to Cameron and isn't actually there in reality, it means Ed isn't able to oppose someone that is actually real or who actually matters." said a Union man.
Speculation is growing as to what Ed has been doing since becoming leader and Facebook and Twitter is awash with pointless musings of people searching for a life. 'What's Ed Doing' and 'Can we Change The leader Please' groups claim Ed is merely going about his business as he always did and nobody missed him back then.