In a bid to stop paedo gangs targeting children in and around the city centre, Derby District Council have hit upon the idea of putting all 12-18 year olds in a small fishing boat and setting them adrift somewhere in the Pacific ocean.
It is hoped the move will help protect children in Derby from attack by paedos for up to 50 days at a time.
Although seen as a positive step in the right direction by most local residents not everybody has approved of the scheme with ice-cream vendors in particular pointing out business will suffer as a result of the move.
‘This recession is making it tough for us right now’ said ice-cream vendor Almia Kisleih ‘and we rely on paedos to keep us going through the winter months. What happens if they all get sent to prison, it doesn’t even bear thinking about’
The Council are looking at other ways of safeguarding vulnerable children in the city and some pilot schemes are already yielding promising results.
‘Some of the smaller children have been sent up chimneys to protect them from paedos and so far the results are encouraging’ said Ray Greaves from DSCB ‘of the children in our care who spent 5-10 hours a day stuck up a chimney, not one was approached by the paedo gang whereas the ones left hanging around on street corners without supervision didn’t last more than 5-10 minutes before being bundled into the back of a van along with a puppy licking a Cornetto.
We can get 20-25 small children up some of the cities taller chimneys at any one time and we are confident they will be perfectly safe from the paedo gangs. In fact, not only will they be safe but while they are up there they might as well make themselves useful by making sure the chimneys are clean. It’s a positive and progressive move in the right direction.
At least it should stop the critics accusing us of ‘missed opportunities’ ever again.
Will setting the kiddies from Derby adrift in the middle of a large ocean protect them from paedos?
What do you think?