While sexual intercourse and air travel have probably never enjoyed greater popularity as separate activities, the Mile-High Club has admitted that it is finding it increasingly hard to attract new members to the club that has, until now, made combining the two a precondition to entry.
With intake down to less than half of what it was during the 1970's peak, celebrity Mile-High Club spokesperson, George Clooney, put it down to tougher sexual harassment laws leaving many too afraid to propose a 'trip to the bathroom' to an attractive fellow passenger or cabin attendant.
'Back then you could take a chance and if the answer was no, hey, no harm no foul. You laughed it off, ordered another Scotch on the rocks, maybe asked again an hour or two later,' explained the star of From Dusk till Dawn. 'You ask the wrong person now, and the police get involved'.
To combat this, the club has taken the unprecedented step of extending membership to air passengers who have taken matters into their own hands at 30,000 feet.(10,000m)
Enthusiastic traveller and masturbator, Simon Craig, commented, 'while they obviously don't show full-on tug films on planes, I did see The Hunger on a flight to San Francisco once. They had edited out most of that Susan Sarandon / Catherine Deneuve scene, but I remembered the uncut version well enough to rub one out under the blanket from memory. I guess that means I'm in!'
Existing club members have voiced concern, however, that allowing legions of onanists to swell their membership and swamp the club could devalue the prestige of Mile-High but Clooney assured them that 'to counter this, those who have had actual sex with another person during a flight will automatically be upgraded to gold-card membership while the self-pleasurers will start off with Solo cards,'
He went on to say that 'DP and ATM members would retain all their exclusive platinum privileges.'