Sammy Beckett, a popular roadsweeper from South Norwood, has told how he was hounded out of his job by Croydon Council. His case had a tribunal of mostly middle class white people transfixed, as his counsel teased the story out of him in a long dialogue in Croydon County Court's industrial tribunal hearings.
As his audience tried to quietly unwrap crinkly sweet wrappers, and to extract every last sip of their over priced Diet Coke without making an embarrassing slurping noise, Beckett had his bourgeouise audience transfixed. 'We knew that what he was saying was culturally significant,' explained one witness to the astonishing performance, 'although to be honest, I wasn't sure why. I was just going along with everyone else.'
The case, which was pretty tedious and overlong according to nameless witnesses, flickered breifly into action when Beckett had a heated exchange with his counsel. 'We're all in the gutter,' counsel told Beckett, in a a despairing voice.
'Yes,' said Beckett, 'but some of us are looking at the stars.'
Inexplicably, there was a short burst of applause following this exchange. The case continues tomorrow. Not everyone was impressed with proceedings, however.
'It's bloody over rated old tosh if you ask me,' said one court usher.