Davros, creator of the Daleks, has reacted angrily to news that he will no longer be eligible for incapacity benefit.
Despite being confined to a wheelchair, having the use of only one hand and monocular vision, the brilliant but twisted scientist was informed that he would still be capable of undertaking basic clerical or catering-centric roles.
Davros, who is originally from the planet Skaro but has been living in Hammersmith since 2008, is said to have screeched at benefit clerks: “You dare to defy me. I am Davros! I am the creator of the Daleks, the supreme power of the cosmos!! You must, you will, OBEY ME!!!
“I’m still getting the housing benefit though, right?”
Simon Woodburn, the benefits apparatchik in charge of Davros’ case, said: “We got him a job in a call centre where his distinctive rasping electronic voice was perfect for directing callers to the right department.
“Then we found out he was telling customers that as well as recording their calls for training and quality purposes they would be sought out and exterminated. Of course, this wouldn’t have been a problem had he been working for a telephone and broadband supplier, but sadly the company in question viewed it a betrayal of customer trust.
"I think he's only really interested in hanging about his lab all day, tinkering with his mutants and plotting universal domination.”
Under the new regulations Davros was told he would have to undergo a thorough physical examination to check he wasn't malingering.
Woodburn said "All we said to him was how do you fancy seeing the Doctor? And he went absolutely mental."
Shadow work and pensions secretary Douglas Alexander criticised the government for singling out the many disabled people such as Davros who were undeniably gifted, but evil.
Iain Duncan Smith, Work and Pensions Secretary, refuted the accusation and said: “My welfare reforms are designed to help anyone - even someone as hateful, spiteful and brimming with disgust at the whole of creation as Mr Davros - find regular employment. I mean there are people out there willing to employ Richard Littlejohn, so anything’s possible.”