In a surprise move, which is likely to prove controversial, the General Synod of the Church of England decided to appropriate the word Joy for the sole use of the clergy.
A spokesman explained "Yes, it may seem controversial, but we are really only formalising the current situation. Face it, no one apart from the clergy ever use the word - just as no one uses Gay in its original sense - so we might as well make it our own. The dictionary definition will have to be amended. We haven't yet decided on the wording, but it will have somehow to express the notion of shiny-faced smugness, in addition to its traditional meaning of Happiness. The point is, for example, that you, even if not a monarchist, no doubt wish William and Kate well. But I, and my colleagues felt joy at the announcement of their impending nuptials, in a very real sense. And when those Chilean miners were rescued, you were happy, perhaps thrilled, but, in your benighted state, you did not, could not, feel joy as we did.
In another move, the Synod discussed the possibility of patenting that weird wave your hands in the air whilst pressing the thumb of each hand against its palm stance, so beloved of people who have been 'saved'.No one knows quite why that stance should mean that someone has not only found God but has struck up a first-name friendship with Him, God only knows (if you'll pardon my little pun) but it does, and we want part of it.
OK, not very funny but I needed to get it off my chest.