Sociologists across Britain are hailing a breakthrough in human behaviour last Sunday morning as a 37-year-old woman from Buckinghamshire sat through Steve Wright's 'Sunday Love Songs' without intending it as a silent reproach to her partner. Jessica Rowley, a marketing manager in a High Wycombe multimedia firm, told reporters that she and her boyfriend Gary Dawson simply started listening to Radio 2 at random.
'I quite liked the music so I carried on listening - maybe I'm showing my age,' Rowley told reporters. 'All that slush about these couples who have been blissfully happy for 25 years was a bit nauseating, but I was busy and I couldn't be bothered to change channels.'
According to Professor Roy Wilde, author of 'You Never Say Those Things to Me: Why Women Fall for Romantic Drivel', about 70% of women listen to 'Sunday Love Songs' and other shows like it to convince their husbands that they ought to worship the dust under her feet, while most of the others are fantasising about a perfect ex that they should have stayed with. Rowley, however, says that neither applies to her.
'Gary is a fairly average bloke but then I'm a fairly average woman, so that's OK,' she said. 'Look, if you promise not to laugh at me - when I was younger, I thought Steve Wright was hilarious. Do you remember Mr Angry? He always used to get so angry he'd throw the phone down ... oh look, you did say you wouldn't laugh.'
After the end of the show, the couple went out to lunch in a local pub, during which Rowley did not glare at the side of Dawson's head, mutter anything about not being appreciated or ask if she was the most precious thing in the whole wide world. Professor Wilde welcomed the development but cautioned against it being seen as a new trend.
'Listening to loved-up saps and their puke-inducing dedications on the radio may be an essential safety valve for some women,' he said. 'It might be dangerous to point out that most of them are doing it because of guilt at their last affair or because they are hoping to get anal that night.'