Terrorist group Al-Qaeda threw in the finacial towel today as they admitted that there organisation was verging on bankruptcy.
MI6 chiefs confirmed that they had received a message from an anonymous source claiming to be representing Al-Qaeda asking if it would be possible for a Irish type bail out to help them through lean times.
'We had our suspicions that Al-Qaeda had fallen on hard times after our latest raid on a suspected terrorist warehouse in the North of England' explained an MI6 spokesman. 'All we found was three boxes of unused sparklers left over from bonfire night and a couple of bags of party poppers. If you take into account the fact that Bin Laden has been struggling to make his video terror threats recently due to not being able to get hold of the cassettes required for the 1980's betamax home video system he has been having to use because of their economic situation then I would conclude that they are more broke than Woolworths were this time two years ago'.
The message from Al-Qaeda claimed that about four billion should do the trick and suggested that this would be cheap by half the price compared to what Ireland are getting.
Prime minister David Cameron was sceptical as to whether the funds would be made available but did make a suggestion to them
'they could of course all turn themselves in to be incarcerated at Guantánamo Bay' explained Cameron 'and after about five years or so they could be released with a nice little million pound per operative handout thanks to a vague settlement fee based on torture offences that the UK may or may not of been complicit in and all being well they will have a pot to piss in once more'.
Political commentators have summarised Cameron's idea as a fair cop out and thats from the UK side and not from Al-Qaeda's.