Following weeks of legal wrangling Millhouse, the investment fund led by Roman Abramovich, has agreed to buy the Republic of Ireland. In a shock announcement late last night a spokesman revealed that the Irish government had agreed terms with Millhouse and the sale is likely to be finalised before the weekend.
The acquisition of the Republic is a coup for Abramovich and follows a legal standoff between the Russian oil billionaire and the Irish government. Millhouse are bondholders in the failed Irish bank Irish Nationwide Building Society (INBS). Earlier this month Millhouse sued the Irish government following their demand that bondholders in INBS bear some of the losses incurred by the bank’s failure. Last night’s announcement was a stunning reversal of the Irish government’s position and a vindication of the legal strategy employed by Abramovich and his team.
In a short written statement, issued last night, the Irish Finance Minister, Brian Lenihan, commented that the deal was ‘a win-win situation for Ireland and Millhouse.’ The Minister stressed that the sale of the Republic ‘gave the people of Ireland the best value for money possible and would bring the financial stability the country needed going forward.’ Full details of the sale will be presented to the Dáil, the Irish parliament, this afternoon.
EU officials in Brussels remained tight lipped on the impending sale of a member state. But sources close to the Élysée Palace in Paris commented that the sale was ‘a rational conclusion to the Irish problem.’ In London, a Downing Street spokesman denied that the British government had offered Abramovich a ‘buy one get one free’ deal on Northern Ireland.
The investment firm Millhouse declined to make any comment to media on the impending sale. However, associates close to Abramovitch indicated that the oil billionaire and owner of Chelsea FC is offering his players lordship and suzerainty of parts of Ireland should Chelsea win this year’s UEFA Champions League. It is known that the Ivorian international and Chelsea striker Didier Drogba will be made Lord of Munster while Chelsea stalwart and English international John Terry will be given the Liberty of Meath and assume the role of Justiciar of Ireland if Chelsea triumph in the Champions League final in Wembley next May.