Gordon Brown has unveiled Labour's key election pledges.
The Labour pledges will be printed in a new pledge card, exactly like the last one only not quite as good, not laminated properly, likely to get dog-eared really quickly, and quite hastily thrown together.
The first of the five pledges is to lose the general election, leaving the country in a mess for whoever gets to pick up the pieces. Job done.
The second is to choose a new leader, probably one of the Milliband twins, or Ed Balls, but definitely not Harriet Harman, or that other woman with the funny eye.
The third is to create a new all girl group, Broadband, with the help of Louis Walsh and possibly Pete Waterman, or that other bloke, Neil someone, you know, he's got funny hair.
The fourth is to choose a new logo, a nice one, perhaps with less red in it and more yellow, a daffodil possibly, or those flowers they always have in wreaths, oh, yeah, and a new slogan. One that says "we are still here, labouring around the place, we're just not in charge anymore, but you probably won't notice."
The fifth pledge is to still be a party in time to come second in the next general election after this one, or perhaps the one after that.
Labour supporters welcome the new stance and, off the record, many Labour MPs are quite looking forward to being in opposition for the next 12 years or so.
Meanwhile, the Camerons have visited number 10 to measure up for new carpets and curtains.