Publicists for the ex-Countdown star have confirmed in a press release the sad news that Carol Vorderman is suffering from Benjamin Button Syndrome.
Recent pictures in leading style magazines like OK, Hello and Sewage Today, have lead to speculation how the 49 year old mother continues to defy the aging process and appears to become more glamorous for every passing decade. Doctors at St George’s hospital commented that Benjamin Button syndrome is rare and non-contagious with no visible side-effects rather than increasingly luscious hair, luminous skin and improved flexibility in the knee joints. Dr Kline, Leading Consultant in Gerontology says that, ‘obviously Vorderman when she started Countdown was in the early stages of the disease, but few people noticed as they were distracted by Richard Whitley’s horrendous tie choices.....as she is in the mid-stage of the disease at the moment, all appears temporarily well but that may soon change’.
However, entertainment insiders report that Vorderman may be showing end-stage signs of the disease. At the Pride of Britain awards, she appeared on the red carpet but refused to have her picture taken and did not co-operate with paparazzi because she said – ‘you’re not my father and you can’t tell me what to do’. She was then seen to put her headphones on and start texting her mates. Her Tweets at the time confirm such concerns with comments such as “God, I’m so bored, why don’t they have pizza at these things!” and “LOL, just saw Amanda Holden with toilet roll sticking out of her dress. OMG!!”.
Voderman was herself not available for comment but was sighted yesterday in Tescos buying Pampers and apple-sauce.