The iconic firm Pontin’s which has provided generations of British families with substandard holiday accommodation up and down the country, has been forced into administration due to a terminal decline in numbers.
However, while initial reports suggested that the company’s remaining five sites would close immediately, accountancy firm, KPMG, said that Pontin’s ‘still had a future’ and promised to do ‘everything in our power to keep the show rolling.’
News of the last-minute reprieve is thought to have hit many teenagers foced to attend the camps by their parents particularly badly.
And deputy prime minister, Nick Clegg, is said by sources to be ‘distraught’ after rejoicing at the initial news that Pontin’s would fold.
It is understood that a furious David Cameron had ordered Clegg and his family to spend this Christmas at Pontin’s Southport branch in Merseyside after the Prime Minister’s own family had to endure the delights of Cornwall this summer in a futile gesture of solidarity with the British economy. In contrast, Clegg took off with his exotic wife, Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, for the sunnier climes of Spain.
Clegg’s spokesman denied that the deputy prime minister was in any way put-out by the sudden resuscitation of the firm: ‘Nick’s not pissed-off at all. He’s really looking forward to letting his hair down this Christmas in a most British fashion. He'll be doing the conga, a spot of karaoke, a smattering of lawn bo….’
Unfortunately the spokesman’s last few sentences were unintelligible, obscured by some sort of laughing fit.