A leading pro-democracy leader and liberal pin-up, Aung San Suu Kyi, was today released from house arrest before being transferred to a high security prison dubbed ‘Burma’
The release was authorised by the military junta who have kept the Nobel Peace Prize winner incarcerated for 15 of the past 21 years in order to thwart any attempt to bring democracy to the Republic of the Union of Myanmar.
Aung San Suu Kyi, 65, has long campaigned for free elections in the country and was due to be released last year before a delusional American Vietnam Veteran suffering from post-traumatic stress, John McCaine, swam across a lake to reach her house in what was an unauthorised visit, handing the junta the opportunity to prolong the sentence.
World leaders and figures have rushed to congratulate the woman US President, Barack Obama, has described as ‘My eastern doppelganger and spiritual soul mate.’
UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon said it was ‘great news,’ but that it would be ‘unfair for the UN to take all of the credit’ for her release,’ before revealing that he had once mistakenly thought that he could make an anagram of his own name from Aung San Suu Kyi, but eventually ‘gave up.’
Nelson Mandela, South Africa’s most celebrated and revered freedom fighter, stated that compared to his eighteen-year imprisonment on Robben Island, Aung San Suu Kyi’s experience was ‘a piece of piss.’
And David Cameron led the response in the UK by saying he ‘sympathised’ with the cut-backs that security services in the Republic were having to make, adding ‘I believe similar scenes will become all too commonplace in the UK once our own cost-reducing measures start to bite,’ while world famous quiz show host, comedian, all-round actor and IT genius Stephen Fry Twittered: ‘I’m stuck in a lift, goodness gracious me - thank god I’ve got some jelly babies in my pocket!’