In a startling reverse (had it not been imaginary), recently made redundant Surbiton householder, Peter Woodburn managed to reduce potty-mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay to tears, albeit in his own carefully choreographed imaginary fantasy dialogue.
Conscious of how clumsily he was chopping a red onion, Woodburn imagined an irate Gordon Ramsey looking over his shoulder, berating him mercilessly for his amateurish approach to chopping vegetables, as if he were appearing on one of Gordon Ramsay's 'tough love' TV cooking vehicles.
In response, Woodburn surprised himself by spinning on his heal, threatening the unseen (and imaginary) TV chef with his poorly chosen blade, and telling him to 'get the f**k out of his kitchen' as he was only making a sandwich for himself and he 'didn't give a f**k' if the slices were of irregular thickness.
The Surbiton man's satisfying reverie concluded with the contrite (yet ineluctably imaginary) Ramsay sobbing his apologies and fleeing, while Mr Woodburn soon thereafter settled down to watch Loose Women with his ham and onion sandwich, a little happier with himself.
His afternoon also included less profane (yet no less imaginary) verbal victories over Tony Blair, his 6th-form Maths teacher and his ex-wife.