A former Tory minister and celebrated virgin, Anne Widdecombe, who has set the nation alight with her svelte performances on the BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing show, has been asked by Russia’s prestigious Bolshoi Ballet to join their organisation.
Rumours began circulating a fortnight ago when the former Minister for Prisons and Celebrity Fit Club star was spotted dinning with the Bolshoi’s Artistic Director, Yury Burlaka, at an Aberdeen Steak House in Piccadilly Circus. According to shocked witnesses, a chequebook-waving Burlaka was heard screaming ‘money is no object,’ while wailing that his organisation had ‘pissed away the last 200 years’ by pursuing and staging ‘shitty, shitty, crap.’
And yesterday the Moscow-based ballet company finally confirmed that Widdecombe had ‘agreed in principle’ to assume the role of Prima Ballerina for a year before replacing Marina Leonova as the director of the Bolshoi Ballet Academy where she will be directly in charge of teaching students. The spokesperson added ‘this appointment will represent the Perestroika of the ballet world.’
While Widdecombe insisted only last week that rumours of a move eastwards were ‘tosh’ she has now admitted to meeting the director and released the following statement: ‘My initial meeting with Burlaka was pure chance - indeed we are both lovers of meat. However, once it was put to me that my skills and perennial flamboyance could drag the Bolshoi into the twenty-first century, I realised it would be highly selfish to refuse his offer.’
She added: ‘However, I didn’t want to publicly divulge my decision until it was clear that my cat Pugwash III and two adopted goats, Megan and Bruce, would be granted safe passage to the Soviet…er, Russia. Fortunately, their Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, has personally agreed to issue passports and diplomatic immunity to all three. Once these are in hand and I have won Strictly Come Dancing, I shall depart these shores towards my next adventure.
Tickets have already sold-out for Widdecombe’s debut which is set to take place on the opening night of The Tsar's Bride at the State Kremlin Palace.