As Scotland Yard officers examine hours of CCTV footage from Millbank, Chief Inspector Ray Willets was happy to announce their involvement in one of the most hotly contested awards of 2010.
When asked, Willets said, “Of course, a lot of man-hours goes into post-operation evidence gathering such as this...but when I saw the footage myself, who could argue? Even though she is wearing a balaclava...that girl has an arse on her like a peach!”.
Last year’s winners Rachel Stevens and Russell Watson could not be contacted but it is felt in industry circles that next year’s winner will at least have to stab a Tory MP to have a fighting chance of regaining the crown. Award organisers hope the recipient can travel to the award ceremony herself and they have already deposited £30 pounds on an unnamed Oyster card that can be collected at their offices. Organisers ask that she uses the door and does not smash her way through the windows.