As Cheryl Cole left ITV’s X-Factor studios announcing that she was “gannin’ for a facial”, London’s paparazzi were spinning in collective frenzy last night.
Believing that she was embarking on a new career in pornography, photographers followed her to a Knightsbridge ‘Beauty Salon’ where she emerged after around an hour noticeably glowing and refreshed. As she left the salon she confirmed that she was “off to do a spit-roast”.
Excited snappers pursued Ms Cole to Richmond Park, where several marquees had been erected and a sign indicated that a “Private Party” was in progress. Smoke was seen rising from a clearing beyond the tents.
Leaving the ‘party’, now noticeably tired, and carrying a large parcel, the beanpole warbler told waiting reporters that she “was off home, and was going to take it in the back way”.
The press pack duly followed the Geordie slapper to her Kensington apartment where she was seen to take the parcel into the service lift at the rear of the building.
The world awaits her next move with heightened anticipation. There was no further comment from Ms Cole last night, other than when she opened her apartment window and shouted to the waiting pressmen “Ow, any of yeez lot fancy a soapy tit wank like?” Our reporter made his excuses and left.
