Susan Lawless from the Sexual Expression Bureau has complained that current economic problems have had a serious effect on threesomes in the Home Counties. She says, ‘Most people don’t understand that having a threesome is not a cheap option for a relationship. Sometimes the extra member may want a glass of wine beforehand, or tea and cake. I have tried leaving an honesty box beside the kettle in the kitchen, but last night, all I found was a soiled condom and a Tesco voucher for points off hand-cream.....I’m afraid if wages keeping falling in real terms, those interested in threesomes may just have to settle for a two-some or even worst a one-some!”.
Note: Local ‘Dogging’ aficionados in West Sussex have also complained that fluctuating petrol prices means that few of their members can afford to leave the in-car air heater on – leading to window fogging. Many disgruntled ‘doggers’ have taken to going home and watching Holby City whilst sniffing diesel fumes instead.