In his recently-published memoirs, Decision Points, former US President George W. Bush defended his administration’s use of torture against non-white people with little or no provocation, claiming that techniques such as pouring water down someone’s throat until they chocked or hooking their testicles to a car battery “saved British lives”.
“It also cost them,” added the mentally-challenged former leader of the free world.
Citing one instance in which a dark-skinned man was waterboarded and then left hanging from the ceiling by his nipples while death metal played at full volume, Mr Bush claimed the morally and ethically indefensible interrogation techniques had helped to foil terrorist plots, shortly before inspiring other, more serious plots.
"Their interrogations helped break up plots to attack American diplomatic facilities abroad, Heathrow airport and Canary Wharf in London,” claimed the retired idiot.
“News of these interrogations later inspired more terrorist attacks in retaliation, including the July 7 bombings in London.”
“Sorry about that,” said Mr Bush.