A large student demonstration was swiftly quelled last night as police screened an emergency edition of Countdown in Central London. Hosts Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley were called in to host a special screening of the game which was relayed to the massive crowds via huge screens wheeled in by riot police.
The students, some of whom had been attacking Tory HQ on Millbank, immediately stopped rioting and turned their attention to the beloved mid-afternoon hangover cure. Many of them attempted to solve a taxing numbers game on the back on their banners and placards, some then citing their inability to do so as evidence of the drastic impact education cuts were already having.
Police fears were renewed briefly, when the students began frantically waving banners reading 'Rebellion', before it was pointed out to them as the answer to the final round-conundrum.
A hard-core of protestors remained unmoved by the police's efforts, and continued rioting until the 5.30 repeat of the edition of 'Neighbours' which they had already watched at lunchtime was screened.