President Obama stunned the world today by rapping the Israeli plans to build over 1,000 settler homes. In a 5 minute speech, the President made reference to ‘cruisin’ down the [Gaza] strip, sippin’ on gin and juice’ and made a number of appeals to misogyny in his address.
Analysts have described the speech as ‘revolutionary’ in its style. However, there have been numerous criticisms for its unimaginative use of simile, citing the controversial line ‘Like a suspended industrial ceiling, these new homes create ill-feeling’ as being especially banal.
Hilary Clinton was referred to in a controversial manner when it appeared that the President was placing abnormal emphasis on the first syllable of the word ‘Hotel’ when he explained that settlers might be accommodated in the hotel, or the motel, or the Holiday Inn.
There has so far been no official reaction from the Israeli government. However, one junior minister has made a statement that apparently offered to give a load of tobacco to the President’s donkey, or ‘smoke his ass’ as it was originally put; and also claimed that, despite the criticisms, today was a good day as he didn’t have to use his AK, and none of his friends were killed in South Central LA.