His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Hu, is thought to be very displeased with the tributes laid before him by Cameron David of Britain and his retinue, who have been guests at the palace this week, communicating his frustration through the court translator to the representatives of this would-be vassal state.
The tributes from Yingguo are thought to include a vacuum cleaner which does not require a bag, a machine called an 'Amstrad', much like a computer, but only capable of e-mails, and a large aeroplane-engine like object which fell apart and emitted some amount of smoke.
While these primitive displays merely vexed and disappointed His Imperial Majesty, of greater concern were the strange beliefs that the ghost-men from the occident attempted to spread among the population of the Empire. Although the flaws of their anti-Confucian beliefs are obvious to the educated classes, their thoughts on ‘human rights’ could disrupt the natural order of society if broadcast to the masses, and so their agreement was obtained not to proselytise this foreign faith beyond the circle of their own loyal journalists.
The Emperor was mildly distracted by one of the play-things that was among the tribute, a ‘Doctor Who Cyberman voice-changer helmet’, which alters the wearer’s voice in an amusing manner, and in his wisdom, the Emperor has ordered the design to be reproduced in time for the Westerners’ winter gift-giving festival.