Results produced today by the worlds medical council revealed that a stronger form of statin could save lives by reducing the risk of heart disease.
Not all experts in the field of medication agree with this, blaming instead inapproiate eating habits as the real cause ' you can talk all day about lowering your LDL cholosterol level and blocking this enzyme or blocking that enzyme but if we had a few less fat bastards eating all the pies there wouldn't be any need for stronger statins' explained Professor Colin Baxendale of Oxford University.
Baxendale and his rather sledge hammer theories on the subject of statins have not gone down well with his fellow experts but this has done little to dislodge the Professors opinion ' just the other night I went to my local chinese to take advantage of their pay £15 have as much as you can eat buffett and I couldn't get anywhere near the bloody buffet bar for a couple of lard arses standing by it troughing all the food. Bloody hell they didn't even bother to sit down!'
Baxendale and fellow diners had to be rescued by a local fire and rescue crew later on at the same restaurant ' as one of the fatso's started to walk down the stairs to finally leave the restaurant the damn stairs collapsed from under him leaving us all stranded on the first floor. Three hours we were up there before the fire brigade came'.
Professor Baxendale's summing up was typically harsh ' if you think stronger statins are going to help them out then fine but for some people they are a clear waste of time unless they start to eat few less thousands calories a day. The only statin they will take is one served up with burger and chips finished up with chocolate cake topped with as much icing that made up the whole mass of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic'.