Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva have been asked to cut costs by making do with Regular Hadrons from now on. With economies across Europe in crisis the cash available to support front line science projects is under intense pressure and Ministers meeting in Brussels have decided to cut the budget to the flagship project CERN.
“We are all in this together,” said the UK science minister David Willetts, “and when the public sector is laying off staff to save costs making do with smaller hadrons is a small price to be paid by the science community.”
“I am confident,” the minister continued, “that with ingenuity and creative thinking the staff at CERN will still be able to produce remarkable results.”
The Large Hadron Collider has recently been used to bring about high energy collision of lead nuclii successfully producing mini- black holes and recreating the conditions at the time of the Big Bang. Mr Willetts urged the CERN team to try generating Pretty-Big Bangs and micro black holes or perhaps some quite dark-grey holes instead.
A spokesperson for the CERN team said, “God help us all.”
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Large Hadron Collider to cut costs by using Regular Hadrons instead
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offlineMemberPosted 2 years ago # -
the coarse whisperer
offlineMember"I wouldn't mind so much, said Dr Philippe Le Clerc head of research, but whenever we have visiting Chinese scientists they lord it over us so. 'Oh have you none of the large hadrons then' they say 'the large hadrons are so much nicer, don't you find Wu? I so much enjoy a large hadron, I'd feel positively stunted without one.' Bloody gets on my goat."
Posted 2 years ago #
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