Details have been found today to disprove the case that Hitlers plans to invade England in 1940 were scuppered by the RAF after the German loss of the battle of britain.
The real reason for the third reichs second thoughts on invasion were put down to the fact that Hitler was dissuaded by the sight of Vera Lynn's teeth.
Documents have been recovered from archives containing conversations between Hitler and Goering at the fuhrers Berchtesgaden country retreat in Austria which reveal why he was put off the invasion, which if true would make Vera Lynn an inadvertent heroine for King and Country.
The transcript of the conversation goes like this,
GOERING: So ven are ve going to invade ze englanders mein fuhrer.
HITLER: I am having ze second thoughts Goering.
GOERING: Is it because ve lost the battle of britain.
HILER: Nine Hermy. It is because of ze englanders forces sweetheart Fraulein Vera Lynn. If she is the best example of ze women ve are conquesting over there, then i'm thinking of not bothering. Her teeth are as big and as white as ze cliffs she keeps singing about at Dover.
GOERING: I zee vat you mean mein fuhrer. I like a woman with a nice beaver but not one vith teeth like one.
HITLER: You know ze song about zee not meeting again. They say it is referring to her toothbrush not meeting her mouth again.
GOERING: Yes mein fuhrer. I think it will be better to stop in ze fatherland and carry on knocking one out to zee horny Marlene Dietrich, jawohl.
HITLER: Please yourself Herman but i'm off to shaggen ze back out of Eva Braun. Huge testicles to zee swine pig englanders and there buck teethed sweethearts.
This transcipt has remained a secret for seventy years and has turned history completely on it's head.
Home Secretary Theresa May has found this new information very interesting and has used it to inspire her new iniative on making Esther Rantzen a modern day forces sweetheart to try and deter foreign terroists from attacking the nation.
' I don't know whether Esther will be in agreement with this but if it's teeth that's the detterent then Esther has the trident missle equivalent in her mouth to keep those nasty terroists types from attacking us'.
If this story gets anywhere then equal blame for it can be put down to messrs IABP, Mr 3374 and Rickwestwell.