The combined efforts of media commentators, TV critics and creepy broadcasters have failed to encourage britons to gather around a large plastic water receptacle and talk about reality TV. A new study of Britain's offices has shown that 'watercooler moments' are few and far between.
The study indicates that, with few people actually using a water cooler, chance meetings at this liquid receptacle are unlikely. Even where there are, conversation is often minimal, with one or two word exchanges being the most popular form of communication. Extended conversations about Strictly Come Dancing are unlikely. Some even said that a water cooler moment, in which Cheryl Cole or Ann Widdicombe's dancing was to be discussed, filled them with dread.
Indeed, many of the people surveyed seemed to find the obligation to talk an inconvenience. Some Britons confessed they even wait until there's no one at the chilled water machine until they go and fill up their plastic cup.
The news has come as a bitter disappointment to many in the media, especially DJs, breakfast TV hosts and media analysts, who speak of little else but 'water cooler moments'. But their attempts to create a demand for water cooler culture have had minimal effect. Now water cooler manufacturers and distributors are thinking of withdrawing their sponsorship and media types may no longer be paid to work mentions of water coolers into every conversation.
But the water cooler manufacturers and their marketing henchmen vowed they will not give
up. 'We'll be back,' said one, 'and next time, we'll have even creepier presumptions and even less cultural significance.'