Long-term unemployed "to be beaten with sticks and made to dance like bears"
(16 posts) (9 voices)
This is all about getting them back into a routine, giving them new skills, which in turn makes them a much more appealing prospect for an employer looking to fill a vacancy, and more confident when they enter the workplace.
Yes, and if this gives us, the hard-working few, a moment of pleasure as we go about our business, so much the better.
By the way, have you just added the link to your name? I had never noticed it before. I clicked through and read the "Is there something rotten..." piece. Loved it. A whiff of Poe, but much funnier than Poe. Not many laughs in Poe, to be honest, though. I can't help thinking he wasn't really going for laughs...
...But anyway, loved it. Left a comment.
Thank you! That's made me very happy. The first bit was lifted verbatim from a leaflet in the mailbox, and the rest was just obvious, like all the best things. "Poe with laughs" is a great way to describe lots of the stuff I write - cheers!
Anyway, thanks again - I'd only just started to put my stuff up there, glad you found it. :-)
I laughed at that one and gave stars too ,no carrots ?
My granddad told me that before the was they would take the unemployed on the moors and get then to dig up ditchs and then fill them back in , to keep them occupied
Love this - think it worthy of expansion so had a go - hope you don't mind...
* * *
Workshy benefit claimants could be forced to dance like bears and be beaten by sticks under proposals being put forward by Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith, it has emerged.
Long-term dole claimants could be put on makeshift trestle stages and encouraged by their keepers to jiggle about and growl for the entertainment of passers-by in market squares in England and Wales.
Mr Duncan Smith said his plans were designed to give people new skills, to encourage a routine and to make them ultimately more attractive to an employer.
“Our focus group was very clear. Many long-term unemployed have little experience of the habits and routines of working life. Spending most of your working day doing something repetitive and humiliating in front of people you hate is the perfect preparation for a life as a lowly civil servant."
Anyone refusing to take part or failing to turn up on time to work could have their £65-a-week Jobseekers Allowance stopped, or they could choose to be stoned to death.
“We have seen a large number of unemployed people express an interest in the latter option, but we’re not sure they fully understand it” he continued.
Why not make the unemployed fifth officials at football matches? There's thousands of games across the land every weekend and what could be more useful than being a fifth official, which was incidently brought in after Sepp Blatter watched Father Ted.
'By the way, have you just added the link to your name? I had never noticed it before. I clicked through and read the "Is there something rotten..." piece. Loved it. A whiff of Poe, but much funnier than Poe. Not many laughs in Poe, to be honest, though. I can't help thinking he wasn't really going for laughs...'
I would go further than that by adding that it is up there with Tinky Winky, La La or even Dipsy.
That C.W.Stoneking is a bit good for an Aussie.
Love his new album.
How the hell did he end up being that good.
Have you seen him?
A "whiff of Poe" smells like gin and vomit, I believe.
Nice. Don't forget the headline should have single not double quotation marks, though.
Ta v much all. Zadok - that's great, exactly how I would have expanded it. The only comment is that the beating with sticks was meant to be to encourage the dancing, like they used to in the middle-ages, probably. Excellent! (not beating bears with sticks, that's a bad thing.)
Gerontius - I'll check him out, thanks - I'm still learning how to be an aussie, not very good at the culture side yet. Although it was a lovely surprise to find out there is some.
TheCat - you're right! I've just checked the current FP.
So that's why I never made it to Writer of Month! :-)
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