Ring Andy Burnham on +33-161-Criminal
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Manchester criminals must now self-report their crimes.
(19 posts) (10 voices)
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It won't work. More than ten years ago a man went to his local station in Winchester to hand himself in for murdering a close relative. However the station was closed and a message on the phone outside told him to he'd have to go the main station in Southampton!
Posted 2 months ago # -
Terry: no one said it would be easy.
I confess to awarding five stars, which could be construed as an anarchistic hate crime.
Also, I have often claimed VAT exemption on medical equipment, and so Rishi Shunak may have me on his list for tax evasion.
The BBC wanted me criminalised because I don't have a TV Licence, but it turned out that I don't have TV.
Posted 2 months ago # -
The BBC wanted me criminalised because I don't have a TV Licence, but it turned out that I don't have TV.
Yay! A soulmate. I wonder when not-having-a-television will be criminalised? How will our evil government / the capitalist media-owners / the shape-shifting lizards ever be able to control all our minds reliably if some deviants like us don't have televisions?
Posted 2 months ago # -
But what exactly is Andy Burnham doing in Ile-de-France? I think the police should be looking in to this.
Posted 2 months ago # -
All Mancunian criminals to be self-arresting by 2022.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Titus to self-arrest immediately.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Titus to self-arrest immediately.
Why - wot have I done? Not having a telly isn't illegal - yet.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Stop arguing, Titus; you're only making things worse for yourself.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Do you mean I should
(1) try to pretend that I do have a television, in order to escape prosecution by the Television Police, or
(2) remain a deviant non-television-owner but just keep quiet about it and hope I get away with it, or
(3) give up, and buy a television?Can you still be prosecuted even if you do buy a television but never switch it on, or even take it out of its box?
Posted 2 months ago # -
Just do it. It's better for everyone
Posted 2 months ago # -
Just do what?
Posted 2 months ago # -
What's more annoying than someone grandstanding because they don't own a TV
A vegan who doesn't own a TV
A vegan who doesn't own a TV because they are always down the gym
A vegan who doesn't own a TV because they are always down the gym....after doing their charity work
A vegan who doesn't own a TV because they are always down the gym....after doing their charity work and before they take their elderly neighbour's dog for a walk.
FFSPosted 2 months ago # -
So which would you make a criminal offence: failure to own a television, or attempting to grandstand about not having a television?
And who's 'grandstanding'? Not owning a television is not big and it is not clever. It isn't even difficult. All you have to do is one day suddenly think 'That's it! Today is the day! This is the day when I do not go to the shops and buy a television!' - and there it is: job done. It's no big deal at all, really, once you decide.
It's as simple as deciding not to eat a housebrick, or not to join Al-Qaeda.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Why did the person who didn't own a television cross the road?
To tell someone else that they didn't own a television.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid the person who didn't own a television.
Posted 2 months ago # -
I haven't got a pneumatic drill, a coffee-making machine or a trouser press either. Would you like me to tell you all about this?
Posted 2 months ago # -
It does explain quite a lot
If your news comes courtesy of the BBC and Mail/Express/Telegraph then your worldview is going to be a little bit warped.
And you missed the second greatest cinema chase of all time
Mr.Robot series 4 episode 4 where Eliott gets chased through the streets of New York
Worth the license fee alone....(although obviously you can watch it on your PC/tablet)Posted 2 months ago # -
.(although obviously you can watch it on your PC/tablet)
Not legally, as I understand it, without a licence. My life has obviously been severely diminished as a consequence.
Posted 2 months ago # -
Why did the person who didn't own a television cross the road?
To tell someone that it's no big deal that they don't own a television.
Posted 2 months ago #
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