A knot of Waitrose management staff has been spotted at its store in Surbiton, blocking aisles while desperately trying to look important. The sighting has sparked fears that more management may pour onto the shop floor, causing havoc among the local shopping population.
Many indigenous locals, fearing the worst, have begun hoarding food in a bid to beat the inevitable blockade that follows a management outbreak.
The huge slick of suits, thought to contain as many as five men from upstairs, was spotted watching a shelf stacker putting out a new range of soups on the strategically vital end of aisle, eye level displays. The suits, clearly unused to this environment, stood in petrified silence. Some nervously eyed the Two for £3 soup notice, as if it contained hidden dangers. Others huddled into a group for protection, preventing any shoppers from getting anywhere near any tinned foods.
'These managers are inert, which means they create a suffocating fog that stifles any local trade,' said one expert, 'unless they can be contained, and the area cleared, the shopping environment will be totally destroyed.'