Billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk is currently ahead in an international competition where the winner is the one who is able to take a self-portrait photograph from furthest away. The game started in 2007 when an orangutan in Borneo stole a tourist's camera and took a charming selfie with its infeasibly long arm. Later the same year, lofty US Actress Allison Janney, snatched the title by stretching out a toe and capturing a shot from the end of one of her unquitting legs. Although the angle of her recline divided opinion on social media, her snap remained the front-runner for several years.
In 2011, Madonna invested in the longest telescopic pointer ever made and managed to capture an artsy picture of her own left boob with a bit of nipple showing. Then, in 2014, Jim Collins from Ireland dropped his smartphone down a 90 foot ravine which, in a ludicrously improbable outcome, accidentally managed to capture a distant high-quality frame of him mouthing the word 'bollocks' from the top of the cliff.
The rise of the drone then saw the title move 4,106,839 times and 182 countries, as lightweight digital lens technology improved along with drone battery life. But all along, Elon Musk had been developing space technology with the sole purpose of taking the selfie title. Even though his organisation SpaceX (pronounced 'space-sex') has never made a Dollar of profit, he has persuaded a string of equally crackpot billionaires to avoid tax in off-planet investments.
Then, yesterday, Musk pressed a button from the roof of his control centre in the Utah salt flats, which activated a satellite positioned 720 miles above the Earth's surface. Via a sequence of linked satellites each enhancing his military-grade MegalensX technology, the second richest nutter on the planet managed to capture his stretched grimace in extraordinary detail. It is believed that Musk will be declared the winner of the $0.00 prize, and then the madness can stop.