Don't think this is really for the other place, so bunging it here and we'll see how or where it goes. Any line from any book, film, TV, but 'improved' in some way which amuses you.
"Nice suit. Asda, Farnborough. I have two myself. I hear Arafat gets his there."
- DIE HARD (Hans Gruber making small talk in the lift with Takagi)