The grieving parents of missing tot Madeleine McCann have confirmed that they are being forced to scale down their hunt for the child claiming that they have "run out of excuses" to cover up their crap parenting skills.
"We have blamed local police, slightly eccentric neighbours, the British government and the Portugese authorities, and we've just exhausted all the alternative theories", said Gerry McCann today. "As a result, people have stopped donating fresh excuses, so we'll just have to admit that, yes, we left our kids alone in a strange house in a foreign country while we went on the piss, and its all our fault".
Bob Chilvers, the McCann's family friend and PR representative, was philospohical today. "Let's face it", he said, "If it had been track-suited Wayne and Waynetta style chavs from Solihull that had left their kids in the house while they went down the pub, rather than attractive middle class professionals holidaying in Portugal, they'd have been banged up long ago".
Sultry blonde Kate McCann, 39, spoke only briefly to reporters on her way to a modelling assignment, commenting that that it was "A weight off her mind" and that she was relieved that she "wouldn't have to carry that fucking teddy round with me everywhere".