Sky television were subject to unexpected criticism today as they've been blamed for inspriring a new spate of prison break outs around the country thanks to them re-running the award winning war time drama Colditz.
Break outs at Winson Green Prison, Birmingham, Strangeways in Manchester and Wormwood Scrubs, Hammersmith in London have all had similar style break outs involving as many as twenty men at a time all occuring within the last ten days. This is felt by many including Home Secretary Theresa May that it is no strange coincidence that they have coincided with the re-release of the seventies tv classic.
'Give them the perk of watching Sky TV in their cells and this is the thanks you get' moaned May ' one attempt even involved two inmates abseiling down the walls using the aerial cable he managed to pull from the wall behind the television. Just to add insult to injury the rest of the inmates in the cell complained to the warden there was fault with the tele and they could'nt watch episode seven of the series to learn some more escape tactics'.
Governor of Winson Green Prison James Shanley suffered a break out of twenty in one go on Monday night and like May was putting the blame firmly on the Yesteryear Channel for putting ideas of escape into the prisoners minds.' I thought something was a bit wrong when there was a sudden interest in the prison allotment as anything up to ten inmates at a time would just wander around with their hands in their pockets. When they left there appeared to be no gardening done as such but there appeared to be extra amount of top soil all over it' explained Governor Shanley 'the other give away that we missed at the time was when Warden Beresford was called a goon by inmate 1112909 Williams'.
This evidence was not the only thing that escaped the Governor as within a couple of days of this the breakout occurred of twenty inmates via a tunnel dug from the back wall of the wash room.
You can't tell me it was unrelated that this happened exactly a week after the first edition of Colditz which featured a tunnel break out' finished the bemused Governor.
Fortunatley for the prison most of the inmates were recaptured within a matter of days as they were given away by the fact that they were all disguised as German Nazi Officers which made them stand out a mile in the middle of Birmingham City Centre.
One of the escapee's inmate 344559 Johnson bemoaned his bad luck but blamed the failure of the escape on paying too much attention to detail to the plot of episode one of Colditz.
' it was a bit of a glaring error but at least were in good company as they did'nt get away with it either and they were in Nazi Germany'.
Theresa May has put plans in place to thwart anymore war time escape attempts by using actor Anthony Valentine in a consultant capacity who played the evil Major Mohn in Colditz who was successful at stopping many escape attempts during the series.
' I'm only an actor' quipped the surprised Valentine ' what do they think I can do because I was working to a script'
May reassured Valentine by saying ' so was Ronald Reagan and he was President of the USA'.
Too which Valentine replied ' Yes but I never saw him Colditz'.