News has just reached us that the popular animal celebrity Neville the Clairvoyant Horse has been found dead in his stables in Exeter. Neville grew to fame in the last 7 months when he succesfully guessed the future of several people at a Clairvoyancy show in London.
"I was as amzaed as everyone when a horse came on stage," said Tony James from Peckham, " we were all waiting for a pyshcic to come on, and then there was a bloody HORSE! But he was good. He predicted that things would turn a little shitty for me when he left a deposit on the carpet. And do you know what, he was right. Yeah, my Mother died a week later."
There was much sadness around when Neville was found dead on the floor of his stables. "It's been such a difficult time for us at the stables," said Neville's personal groomer Claire Macauley, "We'd all grown to love Neville so much. It's just a shame that he had to go so soon. Also, that bloody Octopus had to go and die as well, go and overshadow things."
Rumours and conspiracy theories are abound on the internet. Many people are claiming that Neville had committed suicide because he had 'failed to become famous enough by not predicting the outcome of a major sporting event.' However, some believe he could have been murdered by an Al Quiade hit squad, when an anonymous video appeared on YouTube depicting a man in a face scarf screaming "No more will this self serving, ignorant example of Equine evil walk the Earth. Neville the Clairvoyant Horse is a perfect example of the viscous new breed of Atheistic, non believing horses being bred in the West. And he was never as good as the Octopus, anyway."
KaiserCasino.