Popular TV presenter Dani Bayka is currently undergoing treatment for cancer.
His oncologist, Dr Whom, said in a statement earlier today;
"Mr Bayka doesnt actually HAVE cancer as such, however we thought that putting him through a rigorous regime of chemo therapy and radiation treatment, with all the concomitant sickness and hair loss etc, would be an adequate revenge for the faux-cockney, know it all drivel he normaly serves up! Besides, he's nearly bald anyway, so losing whats left of his hair wont affect him too much. Anyway, mums the word, I'm making a fortune out of him from private prescription charges!"