The world has once again been put on high alert following the discovery of a number of explosive devices in a newsagents in Bromsgrove, West Midlands. With the media baying for answers, Home secretary Theresa May has been forced to issue a statement on the activities which led up to the find and confirmed that every one of the items discovered was 'designed to explode'.
There are fears that the cache may have been carried along UK roads, perhaps in the back of a small van, or more worryingly, in a family car which may even have had passengers in it. At the heart of the media hysteria is the terrifying thought that some of the larger items might even be used to bring down a plane, provided the plane was flying very slowly, just off the ground, and probably a very long way off course.
The Home Office has been quick to dampen down rumours of Al-Qaeda involvement and a meeting of The COBRA committee concluded that we might be dealing with a new group of home-grown terrorists which were only recently discovered 400 years ago.
The public has been urged to be vigilant and to take extreme care when out buying a newspaper in future as the government remains concerned that this may not be an isolated incident, and that many more viable explosive devices may be found over the coming days.
'And if anyone gets out a sparkler and lights it,' added the Home Secretary, 'then just fucking RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!'