Ministers are being accused of caving into pressure from faith schools over sex and relationships education.
Under a late amendment to the bill, the more explicit parts of the to-be-compulsory classes will be "toned down", according to sources close to the religious pressure group the Catholic Education Service.
Although details of how this would work in practice are unclear at present, Colm Franklin, of the CES stated that "the aspiration is to avoid destroying the innocence of childhood, by a too-frank exposure to aspects of human procreation".
Mr Franklin went on: "We would like to see references to certain practices and parts of the anatomy either reduced, replaced with a less graphic phrase or omitted entirely"
"We feel that mixing sex and children is a bad thing, especially during school hours. Moreover, there is no need for children to be shown pictures of a noo-noo and a billy-binkie. We feel that a red triangle for the tuppenny is entirely sufficient, and maybe a blue square for the peepee. These could then be superimposed to depict normal procreation in a realistic, but non-explicit manner"
Many of these things are illegal in Ireland
Educational analysts have expressed concern at developments, and are unsure of how homosexuality, fisting and advanced bloodplay could possibly be represented by a series of geometric shapes.
Ed Staples, Researcher at the Institute for Practical Teaching commented, "From the example he's given today, I think many children would imagine all babies are born purple, and possibly star-shaped. And don't get me started on that Binkie thing. I think he's a bit of a noo-noo, and only an utter dingding-head could think this could work in practice."
"Although I'd love to know what shape he sees as best representing a sexually agressive vicar and what colour the choirboy would be afterwards"