Irish voters have overwhelmingly voted to re-join the United Kingdom in a desperate bid to turn their country's economic fortunes around.
The Irish Republic will now have its toxic debt shared with England, Scotland and Wales.
Northern Ireland, however, has told them to "fuck off".
Pro-union campaigner Paddy O'Cliche said: "It's shit being British right now and everybody is broke but it's worse being Irish and we're all stony broke.
"And by becoming part of the United Kingdom we can again blame all our problems on the English."
Irish Minister Bertie Connor added: "Frankly, I'm just glad all this debt is off my shoulders. It's George Osborne's problem now."
No official statement has been released from Buckingham Palace concerning the new addition to the realm but a source close to the Royal Family has quoted The Queen as saying: "I knew those fuckers would come crawling back one day."