Rumpled womanbait presenter Monty Don has denied rumours that he was wearing new trousers in a recent TV programme about the campaign to stop the forcing of rhubarb.
‘These trousers may look new but they were the property of a gnarled 80 year old Breton onion grower, who just took good care of them,’ the professionally dishevelled man-bear explained on an edition of Gardener’s Stupid Question Time. ‘I managed to take them off him while he was being gnarled. But they’ll soon bed in after I have been on my knees, thrusting my seedlings deep into carefully moistened compost.’ He continued: ‘I find that plants simply don’t grow as well if tended by carefully turned out horticulturalists dressed in pastel coloured V necked jumpers and golf slacks’ - understood to be a clear dig at Alan Titchmarsh.
Don was responsible for the hugely successful film The Full Monty Don in which television’s favourite gardeners performed stripteases for charity. The film was criticised because ‘Titch’ Titchmarsh, who co-starred, was the victim of jokes about his vegetable marrow, and even his penis.
