Free gift: my son. Will do magic and die for your sins. Terms and conditions apply.
DIscovery of more Dead Sea Scrolls could have been Classified Ads section!
(67 posts) (13 voices)
For Sale: Winemaker. Just add water. Turn the tap. Instant Blue Rabbi
For sale: large wooden boat. Fully waterproof. One previous owner, generally well maintained but might need a little spring clean to remove animal residue.
Planning a Last Supper and Stag Party?
Bookings available at the Gethsemane Gardens.
From four score Widow's Mites per head
(turning own water into wine prohibited)
Looking to make a quick buck? Thirty pieces of silver for one nights work - no questions asked. Apply to Caiaphas, back door of the Temple, after six.
Dear Ed - there has to be a FP or something in this.
Small Dog with hare lip
keeps calling for it's owner, presumably Mark
Missing - dinosaurs.
Private Dining Room For Hire
Seats 13. Feet washing facilities available. Men only.
NB Following thefts we now ask customers to provide own grail.
Call Jerusalem 265.
Loaves and Fishes
5 loaves, broken
2 fishes, filleted
Take both ingredients. Distribute evenly amongst multitude via available disciples.
(Save leftovers for tomorrow's recipe).
Feeds 5000 (4000 as main course)
This weeks Lottery Results
ד ה מ ט כ ל
Call K Herod on Bethlehem 9786
Moses Basket - one previous owner.
Commandment tablets - buy 9, get 1 free.
I Claudius is pleased to announce his fourth wedding
The brides name is iV
This follows the breakdown of his third marriage to iii
due to the worsening of his stutter.
Promised Land Farmer's Market...Special offers on Milk and Honey
Late Kick Off
Disciples 1 (Iscariot 90) Jesus Christ 0
Striker Judas Iscariot came off the bench as a late substitute to get round the back of Jesus' defence with a spectacular betrayal in injury time. More soon.
and earns a win bonus of 30 pieces of silver?
I was hoping it wouldn't "descend" into football but, so be it..
Fortunately for Barabus, he was Substituted by Jesus after a Passover
Meanwhile, the winger, Gabrielle came forth & won a teapot
New Children's Book
My new illustrated book for children is now available. Entitled 'Where's Spartacus?' your children will have hours of fun trying to find the rebellious slave hidden amongst crowds of people in various famous places around the world. Is he on top of the Lighthouse of Alexandria? Is he staring out of a window at the Colosseum? Is he running down Mount Vesuvius very, very fast? Buy my book and find out.
I think there's enough here to do a whole new site. maybe a Good News Biscuit.
Police are investigating reports that Mr J Christ, 33, a carpenter, of Nazareth, is not actually the Messiah, just a very naughty boy. More soon.
Crucifixion plots available to buy. Family plots, single plots, couples plots and pets plots all available at very reasonable prices. Ask about out specials on hilltop spaces. Call Honest Sharif on Jerusalem 694 289.
Want to help those in distress? Join the Samaritans today!
Well if we're going into football, allow me to provide the cliche...
Jesus saves, but Iscariot scores on the rebound.
(I'll get me toga...)
Honest Sharif's used carts!
Come to Honest Sharif's used cart yard to get the best deal this side of Damascus. We've got two-wheel carts, we've got four-wheel carts. You name it, we've got it.
Free donkey for every family who comes to Honest Sharif's yard this Passover and guesses how many schemckles are in his yoiztil.
Honest Sharif - prices so good he'll crucify himself!
Hard-working, but slightly gullible carpenter seeks platonic relationship with certifiable maiden with a view to starting a surrogate family. Must have excellent connections.
Would have to be Webuyanycart
"Would have to be Webuyanycart " !!!!
This is not a cheap red top parchment Sir Bon,
we are trying to maintain higher standards here
The cost of skins keeps going up, we have to appeal to the wealthier element.
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