Translation has Just begun of the most recent discovery of Scrolls from Qumran
Near the Dead Sea. First indications that they are part of an advertising supplement to the original Scrolls from that period. Examples of translations below, more to follow.
Front Brake Pads for Ad65 Triumph convertible, Mount Sinai area, Contact Moses.
Stone Tablets delivered to your door (or Stone)
All sizes, example, A4 800,000 GSM
?fed up with having to roll away a stone?
Why not get a Door? Keeps the misses in & the dogs out (or Vice Versa)
Call Damascus Door & rolling Stone Replacement Company
Tabernacles, hire or repair
From single occupancy blankets, to complete caravans
Call “Tent Commandments” for details
For your mummy wrapping, sold per cubit or box quantity
For all your mummification needs, Embalming oils, Canopic Jars
Why not call “Jars-R-US” (Formerly Laz-ar-US)
Slaves available (Not imports)
All sizes & creeds available…. (Buy one, Get one Freed)
Ashes delivered Free (Pompeii Area only)
Army Surplus, Centurion uniforms…. Hundreds in stock, discounts per Cohort
Caravans…. Leaving Cairo every 2nd weds, bring your own Camel
Large wooden box with Large handles & gilt top (Finder must not open)
Livestock insurance expired? why not try “GOAT COMPARE”
Disaster insurance try contacting COMPARE THE NILERAT dot.Camel
All sizes of staffs in stock plus made to measure service
Palm or Misfortune telling. (undamaged palms only)
Mobile service can be done in the comfort of your own tabernacle, or even whilst sat on your camel. Contact Mystic Ehab
Soothsaying, Friday Surgeries, hourly rate or Charges per Sooth
Excess storage area available (valley of kings area)
Large unit recently completed, proposed occupant not ready to move in yet.