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Do you know what I fucking hate about new technology?

(38 posts) (14 voices)

Started 2 years ago by StoopyDeGunt
Latest reply from Pabst Blue Ribbon

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StoopyDeGunt

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It's not the nerds. Fair play to them, they probably suffered in school. So they deserve a bit of license to be hoity toity.

I don't mind the early adopters and the enthusiasts. Someone has to pioneer this stuff.

It's the fucking 'gurus' and 'IT evangelists' I really can't hack.

All the cunts who promise that technology will 'level the playing field' and 'democratise society' get on my wick. IT does exactly the opposite. It polarises society. Maybe, in Labour's defence, this is why the gulf between rich and poor got worse over the last decade. Technology.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2006/mar/02/newmedia.consumernews

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/may/21/answering-services

This week, I took a patronising lecture about The Twitter Cloud from an arsehole, and I'm really angry with myself that I didn't punch him or disembowel the uppity little shite.

Yes, I should be angry about the public sector cuts, shouldn't I? But who wasted the money in the first place?

I'm going to start a software company, called Tolpuddle Solutions, which will liberate us from a life sentence of staring at a glowing rectangle all day. Well, I would if I could write software.

Who is with me?

Posted 2 years ago #
bonjonelson

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I agree, I just retweeted you

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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Error 404

Posted 2 years ago #
StoopyDeGunt

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Trending!

Posted 2 years ago #
brownpaperreporter

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Thank you for contacting the support line. Your call is important to us. Press 1 for technical queries but need a degree in Computer Science to talk to these guys, 2 for a long queue slight shorter than option 1 but that gets to Trevor who thinks chips come with vinegar, press 3 to hear these options again because you're too stupid to remember 10 seconds ago, or hold for a nerd who will make you feel an inch because it is sooooooooooooo simple

Posted 2 years ago #
De-scribe

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Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

Posted 2 years ago #
IABP

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Move to the IOW

Posted 2 years ago #
Sinnick

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I thought I delivered that lecture rather well, actually. Did you remember to fill in the questionnaire ?

Posted 2 years ago #
Mr.3374

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What's the point of superfast broadband on a superslow pc like mine?
56k dial-up's too fast for it....

Posted 2 years ago #
rikkor

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Stoopy, start with destroying the textile mills; I'll join you when you get to the adding machines.

Posted 2 years ago #
bonjonelson

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(obligitary XKCD reference).

And yes, this is how I would explain my life to a cat.

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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Stoopy:

Play a guitar
Go for a walk
Go to the pub with your mates
Grow something - herbs or vegetables
Look at the sky
Listen to some music

None of these involve (much) technology.

Better still, have a weekend without turning your pooter on. You will feel better.

BTW I heartily agree about the evangelists. If it doesn't exist online, it doesn't exist at all. Crap.

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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http://www.funny-games.biz/beatup-pc.html

Posted 2 years ago #
Gerontius

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Spot on Mr. Scroat – summed things up perfectly. That is definitely a finely tuned and well balanced life-style you advocate there.
Can I just add ‘check up on an elderly neighbour, take them out shopping or out for a drive. Let them know they still matter’
I picked up the guitar again a while back and it has been the most therapeutic thing I have done in a long time. Still shite but at my age it doesn’t matter.
Oh, and feed the birds too.
Stoopy is right. I’m already a big fan of his Tolpuddle Solutions idea, where do I sign up.
He raises a very interesting point. Has the first generation of computer users finally had enough of sitting in front of this screen?
It was the most exciting and liberating thing that came into my life back in 1998 – but over the last few years it has choked the joy out of life. I look back fondly to the days when things were a mystery and could remain a mystery forever
The PC has caused the death of dreams and created the rise of fantasy

Posted 2 years ago #
Sinnick

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Sorry to point out the irony, gentlemen, but you appear to be using an internet blog to criticise technology. And, if you form a Tolpuddle entity, presumably you'll be contacting each other by e-mail ?

Luddites might be appropriate, perhaps, IMHO.

Sorry to be a pragmatist, it doesn't happen often.

Posted 2 years ago #
ronseal

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Were Tolpuddle and Luddite rival companies?

Surely they were in the same market sector. Or space, as we must now call it.

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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The PC has caused the death of dreams and created the rise of fantasy

Nice one.

Posted 2 years ago #
FormerlyAlOPecia

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Isn't there an iPhone app for this?

Posted 2 years ago #
FormerlyAlOPecia

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By the way love the image of a "Twitter Cloud" emanating from an arsehole - Red, any chance?

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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I've got some sort of intermittent problem - I think at the ISP's end - which means I lose access to the Internet every so often. I must have rebooted my router four or five times today.

It's seriously pissing me off because the ISP techies say it's not their fault. End of.

Without technology, there would be no technology rage.

Disembowelment is too good for them.

Posted 2 years ago #
IABP

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Change your router would be my first choice unless it's always done it.

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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It's got bad over the past couple of months. Some neighbours using the same ISP have had the same problems.

Posted 2 years ago #
Sinnick

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@scroat et al. At the risk of appearing nerdy:
Could be the external line leading to your BT socket. One of our BT access points was flooded under the pavement. Water & electricity, etc.
Could be dodgy wiring where the BT wire meets your wireless contraption. The previous owner of our house was a DIY "enthusiast" - left numerous minor ~~issues~~ problems like this
Stop & start the wireless thingy. Wait for 20 seconds before restarting it, as with all electronic glitches
If you are pre-Vista, run Scandisk to tidy corrupt files (invariably TEMP)
Restart your PC with your fingers crossed

Incidentally, while I'm attempting to show off, increase your performance overnight:
Delete all unnecessary files (TEMP, internet, etc) except arguably cookies
Configure "defrag" to run daily - the first time will take hours
Watch & be impressed
This can improve performance 10x if you're lucky

Posted 2 years ago #
IABP

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Yep, unfortunately it can be a lot of things. Signal boost and the actual router are common.

Posted 2 years ago #
riesler

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It's probably the whatsit interfacing with the thingummyjig causing the oojamaflip to wotname...innit.

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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What I have done is empty the cache and reset Safari, which makes the iMac a lot faster.

If I go to network diagnostics, I get a panel which has indicators for the different parts of the chain that make up network connectivity. These are:

- AirPort
- AirPort Settings
- Network Settings
- ISP
- Internet
- Server

As these work in real time I can watch what's happening. They're all green at the moment, but when the problem starts happening the Internet and Server lights go red.

Happily they're all green at the moment.

BTW the situation is further complicated by the fact that I get cut off from the Internet if someone uses the microwave in the kitchen. But that's another story...

Posted 2 years ago #
riesler

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...making cookies?

Posted 2 years ago #
rikkor

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I know that you all have to pay for TV whether you want it or not. Do you also have to pay for Internet whether you want it or not? Can you stream TV over Internet there for free, or does someone charge you for that as well?

Posted 2 years ago #
Scroat

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We pay ISPs but TV streaming is free. People like Sky offer packages that combine TV access, Skype and Internet access.

But as you say, everyone with a TV has to have a licence.

Posted 2 years ago #
StoopyDeGunt

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That's a good idea.

Let's tax the Internet.

Local councils could trick people into looking at the Internet, using plasma screen honey traps, then they could impose on the spot fines.

Posted 2 years ago #

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